Slumdog Millionaire

is a cheat.

Chalkboard Paint

An update on life I suppose

Ok, so let me start off this post with something random as I do every other time. My balls hurt. They really hurt, a lot. Why? Because of these damn kidney stones again. I passed at least one or two so far and have six more in my kidneys, and they all seem to be coming out one after the other. I know this is definitely a kidney stone again because I had the immense pain in the back/side/tummy. And now the pain radiates in my balls and I’m pissing blood. I’m hoping to pass this son of a bitch soon, so I took two Percocets for the pain and I’m drinking water like it’s my job. I’ve missed my bus (which is actually a good thing since I don’t feel too well and I’m in pain) but instead of taking Percs and falling asleep I’ve decided to stay awake and flush the fuck out of my kidneys and pee like a race horse. Then hopefully this fucking stone will pass through. I felt the pain in the back like two weeks ago, and I’m feeling it again right now plus it’s in my balls, and I’m also pissing blood so I’m guessing it’s still the same stone?

I wonder how long it takes to piss after you drink fluid. These Percocets last about four hours, but I’ve kinda built up a tolerance to them, so they don’t work as well, and only last about two hours. When I run out the doctor said he will prescribe me something not as strong seeing as how percocets are addictive. I’m guessing on Vicodin. But oxycodone is so much stronger yet it’s becoming weak on controlling the pain, so I’m afraid Vicodin won’t do shit.

So let me explain to you what these kidney stones passing feels like. First of all, it starts out by leaving your kidneys and passing through this very small tube, which I forget the name of and am too lazy to look up. As this is happening it feels as if (no less of pain than) you are being stabbed through the back with a very long, sharp knife which goes completely through you and comes out the front of you, out of your stomach. Eventually when the stone makes it’s way further down the tube this is when the pain starts to radiate towards/into your testicles. Usually just one testicle on the side that is hurting in your back. So now it feels as if you’re being stabbed while simultaneously getting your ball(s) stomped on by your girlfriend’s mother who has just found out that you’ve had sex with her daughter.

Finally it passes through this small tube and makes it into a tube which is a wee bit larger in width, making it a little bit easier for the stone to get through so not as much pain. But I’m guessing at one point it makes it into your piss tube, and this hurts. Your balls are on fire, and you feel nauseous. Well, normal people feel nauseous. But the thing is I barely ever get nauseous. Instead, I get the feeling of an upset stomach and of diarrhea. And then I get the diarrhea. And it sucks. Then eventually with enough water chugging along with cranberry juice (I drink cranapple ’cause it’s delicious) you get to piss this large rock out of your tiny pee hole.

You know that whole sick/diarrhea thing I was talking about? Yeah, that just happened. I had to rush through the last sentence. Lord have mercy; It burns like hell when I pee.
The Percocets obviously haven’t kicked in yet. What if I’m just so immune to them now that they don’t work at all? I took two which the doctor said to take if I’m in excruciating pain. I don’t want to take another because I’m running very low and I may direly need some later… These suckers take around ~50 minutes to kick in for me. Sometimes 45 mins, sometimes an hour.

Know what’s fun? Pissing through a strainer to catch your stone.
Know what’s even more fun? Attempting to still piss through a strainer while taking a smash… and not pissing on your hand/shitting on the edge of the strainer. Neither of which I just did because I’m skilled .
Yeah, not really.

You know what would be a great idea? To drink alcohol. That way I’d be more numb, be having more fun and not be in pain, and I’d be pissing a whole lot more. I’m sort of getting ready for the world’s longest piss from drinking all this water. I’m on my second bottle for this morning (it’s 8:08 AM (regardless of what dumbass WordPress says)).
And now I’m done my second bottle. Time to get some cranberry apple juice.

I don’t like the taste of just cranberry by itself. That’s why I go for cranberry apple.

Ya know how your muscles relax when you die and so you piss/shit yourself as soon as you’re dead? And do ya remember the guy who died from drinking too much water for a contest to win a Wii or something of the sort? Imagine how much he pissed when he died. There must have been urine everywhere, literally.

So I am missing out on all of the fun at school. Aw, poor little old me.

I’m going to a happier note now to even the mood out. I’ve been working on cleaning out my basement and fixing it up for the past week so that I can move down there. My grandfather really made it nice down there because he used to live down there. It used to be a car garage and he turned it into a living quarter with a kitchen containing a sink and cabinets, and a bathroom with a toilet, sink, and shower, and then another area which I would call the living room. The thing is, he was short and so the kitchen area is up a step so my head kind of skims the ceiling. It’s honestly no biggie because the living room area is fine and I won’t be in the kitchen/bathroom all that often, other than to make food and shower and stuff.

But anyway, he died a few years ago and the basement hasn’t really been touched since (other than to get all of his stuff out, which really we should have kept so that I wouldn’t have to buy all new appliances). So my girlfriend and I decided that we should clean it up and make a really awesome chill room. And then we decided to go all out, so now I’m planning on moving down there, and hopefully she will sleep with me down there on weekend and in the summer. And no, I didn’t mean that in the sexual way. Although maybe that too… *wink*. So me and my friend Dugan moved all of the shit out of that part of the basement (we kind of used it for storing stuff we didn’t really use or need at the moment), we cleaned it, we cleaned it some more, and we cleaned it some more. After picking stuff up, and vacuuming thirty times, and moping, and wiping down, and dusting, and replacing, and fixing a lot of things with a big help from Vince who is awesome at repairing and building shit, the basement actually looked a thousand times cleaner.

== Side Note ==
I believe the Percocets are starting to kick in now. Time went by a lot faster while I was typing this. I’m not a slow typer, but if you read my one previous post you’d know that I re-read everything I type a hundred times and try to be very precise on spelling and such. It’s sad that I still make so many mistakes and don’t always make sense and sometimes I type too much and sometimes I make run on sentences. Yeah, that was intended to be a pun.
But yeah, I randomly feel un-needfully happy now. Does that make sense?

Anyway, thankfully me and my amazing girlfriend and my sexy boyfriend best friend agree on the same color scheme. And so we decided to paint the walls. And painting the walls became painting all of the walls. And the door. And the floor (which will be covered up anyway). And the ceiling and light bulbs (not really, that’s an inside joke that Dugan/Kelsey would understand). The walls look amazing for us first time painters. I’m proud of us. No it’s not perfect, and honestly it’s kind of sloppy, but it’s actually better than I anticipated. Painting is really a LOT of fun. I love getting a couple of people together set on one goal, having some good clean fun and being productive at the same time. I’m kind of wishing I went to Vo-Tech now… But not really. Because they probably don’t have my trade. I don’t think…
(I’m going to Penn State for Electrical Engineering (which I know like nothing about, but hope to learn about)). I’m kind of afraid that everyone else going for electrical engineering (like one other person) will have already been very interested in it in high school and they probably have experimented and worked with it as a hobby already… So they will already be fluent with all the electrical shit and I won’t know anything. And my fellow students/teachers will think that I’m retarded.

I should totally upload some pictures right now to incorporate into this post so you all can see our amazing artistic abilities with wall/everything painting.

Now, let me warn you. Me, my girlfriend, and my friend all enjoy bright colors; Really bright colors. So this may look silly to you. But we couldn’t be more proud.

Yeah, the oxy def kicked in now. But anyway, here are some pictures. If they are too wide for this layout, too fucking bad. I’m too lazy to resize again.

Basement before painting (and after cleaning).

Bathroom before fancying up.

In the process of painting the first coat of green.

Almost done the green.

The floor is happy! ^_^

Two sexy fellas.

Done the green, working on the kitchen, and half way done the table painting.

Yay polka dots!!!!

The kitchen and living room are done, except for fixing up mistakes and such.

Pictures courtesy of my lovely fiancee, Kelsey:

Greeeeeeeeeeeen. So pretty :]. Green is my favorite color!

The bathroom! This pattern was done by Dugan and Kelsey. It’s a little sloppy and actually looks bette rin this picture than IRL, but that just gives it a special bit of love.
Even though I’m in this picture, I didn’t do that.

THAT’S what I did. Yeah I know, it looks horrible lol. Could always put a large poster over it…
Maybe it will look better to someone who is drunk and about to puke into the toilet.

Putting on some painters tape to repaint and fix the mistakes.

I’d be so totally pissed if my computer just crashed right now and WordPress didn’t save drafts. But thank God it does. I’d probably kill myself after typing this much and losing it all. The word count so far is almost at 2000.

I’m very tired, but I must stay awake! Must fight the urge to jump into my oh-so-comfortable futon bed!

But anyway, next step to the basement is a carper to fit the whole floor, then really soft fluffy throw rugs on top. Then moving in furniture (some of which we already have, and some we will have to buy). Then things like a microwave and oven and mini fridge. And then another strobe light, and a black light, and glow in the dark paint that reacts to blacklights that we are going to use to trace the polka dots on the wall.
We know most of the stuff we are going to buy. And it shall all look spectacular. And bright and colorful.
I’m so excited.

I love how me and my girlfriend both agree on the same types of styles. Once the basement is done we are never leaving it.

Right now I am texting Kelsey who is at school, trying to convince her to read this blog post because it’s so long (compared to my other posts) and I want at least someone to read it. I barely write school essays that are this long. Okay, that’s a lie, but still…

I feel like I need something better to put on my website. Like a video once a day or something. I have so much space on the server, and I just realized how cool videos are and how they capture the moment so well.

If my website ever goes down then so will those pictures of my rad basement, so let’s hope that never happens. That’d be quite tragic.

I’m refilling my cranberry apple now. Wow I just stood up and that was an interesting experience…

On another note. After calling Verizon up like three or four more times to consult their horrible tech/billing support about our slow internet, they’ve decided to block our number. Now when we call with our home phone we no longer get the choice of speaking to a live person. But I did achieve one thing. No, my download speed didn’t double to become the speed we should be getting, but instead my upload become three times faster, which is nice, but actually STILL isn’t the speed we are paying for. But whatever.

I have a 10-page website + a works cited due on Thursday which I haven’t started. I’m going to bullshit it in like two days. Today and tomorrow probably. It’s just about us, so I can include whatever I want. Perhaps some nudes. And I have to incorporate CSS also, which isn’t too big of a deal. Dreamweaver here I come. Honestly, I suck at web design. My school was supposed to get me to help them with a facebook-like website for the whole school, but they never gave me a follow-up about it. I’m kind of too busy to do it anyway.

Hey everyone, I need a job desperately. Who wants to help chip in for my basement fund? Anybody? You, over there, want to help? No? :[.

I should totally set up a fund drive on my website. The "Fucking Awesome Basement Fund Drive". And you can donate to help me make my basement shaggalicious. I still need lots of money for posters, and appliances, and carpet, and rugs, and furniture, and a sound system, and maybe paying someone to help fix my basement lock. It only kinda sorta locks some of the time.

Wow, I just looked outside and it's mighty bright out now. It was a lot darker when I woke up 3 hours ago.

So I woke up, got dressed, groomed myself (I was unable to get all of the paint off from around my fingernails), set my school bag and shit up, and left my house. Apparently I was a few minutes late. Of course this will be the only day I am running late this week and the only day the bus actually comes on fucking time. I saw the bus in the distance and called Dugan (since he takes my bus) to ask if that was in fact our bus. And it was. And it was just pulling away so I said fuck it, called my mom at work and told her I missed the bus. I'm surprised she didn't leave work to drive me to school. That's what she did last time. She's very punctual when it comes to school shit. She's a Nazi... On many levels.

I have to pee but I'm holding it in so I can build up the urine and break the world record for the longest pee. I should record it on video...

I'm two bottles of water and two large cups of cranberry apple juice through. That's not enough. Must consume more!!!

I'm power blasting this damn stone out.

Hey, everyone, go to http://social.digitalanaphase.com/ and join. And use it. And invite ALL of your friends, and their friends. I'll make it better than Facebook, I promise. Once I get enough activity I will buy it it's own domain name and everything.

If I can get a few thousand members and put up ads I could totally make cash.

College is coming up and nobody will hire me :'[. I needs me some mullah, like nowZ!!!

I downloaded Grand Theft Auto IV and installed it only to realize that my graphics card isn't good enough to play the game. So gay. It took forever to download it too. I was playing Need For Speed: Most Wanted a good bit and then got tired of it, so I downloaded Need For Speed Carbon too, and I have yet to install that.

Know what's sad? I have 747 MBs of porn pictures on my computer. None of which I actually fap to. Either because I don't need to fap, or I just usually always watch videos online. Too much info? Too bad.

The urge to pee is increasing. Gotta hold out.

All of Kelsey's friends and parents are saying that her and I won't last forever. But we'll prove them wrong ;]. I wuvs mah Kelseybear. <3 <3 <3.
I don’t ask my friends if they think we’ll last forever because I don’t care about their opinion on that too much. I know more about my relationship than they do.

Oh my God, my computer just froze for like 10 minutes and I got scared/frustrated even though I know that WordPress autosaves drafts. Still a scary experience.

So I pissed, and Percocets are a fucking miracle drug. It burned like living hell every other time I peed except for this time because the oxycodone actually stops the pain. The piss felt amazing, but no stone :[. But also no blood so that’s good. But I want this damn stone to come out! I think I’ve been terrorized by this same stone for like three weeks now!

I’m going to stop this post now because I’m going to go do something constructive like fap or take a nap. Leave a comment if you actually read this.

<3 DaveHux.

EDIT
Right click and view images because my layout isn’t wide enough to show the entire image. Kay!?
I stopped being a lazy ass and used simple HTML to resize pics.

Puff, The Magic Dragon

The series Puff, The Magic Dragon is the best goddamn trilogy on earth. If you don’t believe me, you’re wrong. Just watch all three movies. They are all about smoking pot in some sort or sense. Or just about exploring your mind. Each movie has it’s own messages and meanings. It’s awesome.
No, I am not a three year old/retarded.
Yes, I might be a little high.

Plus, the song in which the movie is named after (sung by Peter, Paul & Mary (or something like that, I don’t feel like looking it up)) is a really good song, and it’s really catchy. I just realized today in school that the song contains so many references to smoking pot.

Oh, and the first movie explains the song so perfectly.

Titles Are Cliche

I have a horrible headache, my throat hurts, I’m sick to my stomach, and I have the chills. Tomorrow morning I have to walk to my bus stop in sleet, and I really just wish I could skip school. But my mom is a Nazi so that won’t be happening *sigh*.

I haven’t been making any progress with anything lately. Not even school really. I’m sorta slacking but it’s okay, I’ve been accepted to all of the colleges I’ve applied to. I’m going to Penn State. As long as I pass my senior year, everything will be good, and passing is easy as fuck for me so yeah.

My girlfriend smoked pot for the first time ever a few weekends ago, out of a hookah. Impressive thing to smoke out of for the first time. And it was my first time smoking out of a hookah too. I plan on smoking with this weekend with some people too. And then my girlfriends wants to eventually experiment with drinking too, so we’ll see how that goes.

Midterms over, college applications, and FAFSA done, the rest of senior year should be easy coasting.

Oh, apparently there is an 80% chance of me having a two-hour school delay tomorrow. That means I get to sleep a little bit longer. But I still have to wake up to check if the delay is active or not, which defeats the purpose. Also that gives the ice more time to freeze, giving me a higher percent chance of me falling on my ass.

Edit – January 31, 2009
I kind of suck at typing and need to correct myself more often.

An Update

I always forget about this blog. Anyway, I got my girlfriend to make a blog on WordPress too but I don’t think she uses it very much lol.

Three days ago I was in the E.R. because of very painful back, side, and stomach pains on my left side. Apparently I have two kidney stones — a 2mm and a 4mm — and a urinary tract infection. Fun stuff. I officially know what it feels like to be stabbed in the stomach/back with a very sharp knife, and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. The fun part has still yet to come: pissing them out.

The doctor put me on antibiotics for the UTI and a flomax for the kidney stones. I also was prescribed Percocets for the pain and I stocked up on Motrin.

Christmas was okay. I got a new mouse (Logitech G5 gaming mouse) and a 1.5 TB external hard drive (the biggest external I could find in stores).

I didn’t get a new internet connection and a new webhost like I thought.

Anyway, I love my Kelsey to death <3 ^_^. She gave me the best Christmas present ever.

poetry attempt?

Wow, the new WordPress layout when I sign in sure looks different. Kinda cool though.

I’m writing poems out of boredom, so check them out: http://digitalanaphase.com/poetry/
I’ll add new ones very frequently, I promise.

New York

New York was amazing and I want to go back badly. End of story.
Oh, and The Phantom Of The Opera was pretty ballin’ also.

December, go away.

Hmm.. everyone randomly is deciding to ignore me/forget about me. Interesting.
December is going to suck. A lot.

I was messing around with some distros of linux today.
Knoppix, Fedora Core, and openSUSE.
openSUSE is the best/sexiest.
And Knoppix is the suckiest. But it’s portable so… it still has a small ‘neat’ factor.

Blahhh, I have to start studying for a gay ass test in a few minutes. How exciting.